Cane ~ love at first bite

It seems I owe an apology to my hubby. We hadn’t stopped, we just hadn’t gotten started back yet. I am sorry for jumping to conclusions. I am sorry for being impatient. I am sorry for not trusting in you to know what I need. But mostly I am sorry for not just talking to you.

I found out night before last that we hadn’t stopped. I had been a bit of a brat, so Sir got out the crop and preceded to give my breasts a cropping. It sure did hurt especially when he caught just the nipple and flicked the crop. OWWWIE ~ I mean I needed it. I really really needed something. My nipples got the most of it. It hurt so very good. And the next day they were so wonderfully sensitive and the prettiest purple color you have ever seen! I slept so good that night.

Sir has often said he wanted to try the cane. I have been terrified of that whole idea. I would talk myself into it, then quickly back out of it. The more Sir would bring it up the more I would get that old panic. I know that anytime it’s something new I panic. I can’t help it. I just do! I told him a month or two ago that if he wanted to use a cane on me he would have to tie me down because I didn’t know if I could remain still and laughed it off.

Well last night half joking Sir said go get the crop. I told him if I could reach where he put it I would because I needed it. He seemed surprised. A little later he asked me why I needed it. I could think of a million and one reasons why I needed it. But all I could say was “because I really do need it”.

I went to bed a few minutes before Sir did. He caught me a bit by surprise he got this toy I got for the cat. It has a long handle on it with feathers at one end. It is fairly good sized. From what I have seen on the internet it’s perfect cane size. Well he picked it up and began to smack at me over the blankets. It hurt!! Then he told me to remove the blankets and roll over. My whole insides went to shaking, I tried to beg out of it, but no go. So I laid on my stomach with my arms high over my head and prepared to die!

Surprisingly I like it. It hurt, it hurt like hell. But it wasn’t long before the pain sort of carried me away, I was just really getting into it and about to ask for it a little harder when he stopped using it and picked up the crop. Now the crop on top of the caned area was horrible. It was like starting the pain all over again. I had to get my head around a different kind of pain. Just as I was almost there, he started with the cane again. He caned my bottom, my thighs, my back and across my shoulders. Back and forth. I couldn’t get my head around anything before it was changed again.

Once he came to bed, I was just laying still trying to decide if I was coming or going. It felt so good, it hurt so bad. I couldn’t stop making noises of content, noises of pain, noises of utter confusion. Next thing I knew he was caning my breasts. Oh my god ~ there went my head again. It hurt. It really hurt. Slowly it was lulling me into a calm space, my body giving into the pain of the cane. It probably wasn’t really that hard, but for me it was. Suddenly it stopped and he turned the feathers on me. He feathered the red welts that had shown beneath the skin. Oh talk about heaven. I was drifting off coming closer to cuming. I was there, right at the edge of it. So I asked permission to cum. He made me ask a couple of times then he gave his permission. Just as I was about to cum the cane came down across my nipples. The searing pain interrupted my bliss and I was on the opposite edge in a flash. After doing that a couple of times he did take pity on me and allow me to cum. And cum I did. I didn’t think I was going to stop. You know the kind. It’s the kind you hope for, you beg for, you plead for. It comes from the top of your head and washes everything from your body leaving you limp.

I cuddled into him and thanked him, the whole time trying to talk to tell him how wonderful he was and how I felt and hell how the world was brighter at that moment! laughs But nothing would come out.

He told me laying there that I wasn’t submissive. I may be a pain slut, but submissive I was not. I laid there listening to him softly snore after that and thought why would he think that? What is his idea of submissive? Do we have different ideas? How can I be submissive if he never tells me anything to do? Isn’t that what I do, he says, I submit? I stayed awake for awhile trying to think of ways to show him I am submissive.

So this morning before I got dressed I wrote on the right breast “Tell me” and on the left breast I wrote “I’ll Obey” in permanent ink so that I can’t change my mind. Now that it is getting closer to going home I am getting nervous of revealing myself. I am telling myself that ~ embarrassment has no place in a submissives life. To be humiliated is one thing, but to humiliate oneself is quite another. That takes guts. And I am not sure I have them.

I had several idea’s last night. That sounded good in the cover of darkness and being alone. But now that it’s the light of day and we will be going home soon I’m not so sure my idea’s are so great after all.

Anyway I will keep you posted as to what happens.